There are two kinds of immortality available to the American statesman, and the current occupant of that office appears determined to purchase both in the same season, on credit, with other people's currency.
Two Monuments
The Hero of the Catering Truck
There has always been, in the annals of statecraft, a certain grandeur to the leader who faces peril alongside his men — who stands, however foolishly, on the same deck, breathes the same smoke, and takes his chances with the ranks he commands.
On th’ Prisidint’s Grand Birthday Festivities
Mr. Dooley holds forth from behind his bar on the President's eightieth birthday celebration, the Octagon built on the South Lawn, and what it says about a republic that pays for its own spectacle.
The Sage of Baltimore Surveys the Octagon
H.L. Mencken surveys the President's eightieth-birthday festivities — cage fights on the South Lawn included — from what he insists is a safe distance.
The Begatting of the President
A mock-scriptural chronicle of the President's eightieth natal celebration, narrated with the solemn authority of a 1969 concept album and considerably less dignity than the occasion deserved.